Hi, my fellow widda peeps! Today, lads and ladies, we’re going to discuss the energy suck that is grief. Most widdas know–present blogger included–couldn’t even fathom rolling out of bed or heaving his or her tired widda ass off the sofa in the weeks and months after their spouse’s celestial departure.
Making dinner? Too exhausted. Running errands? Forget it. Even making a decision–no matter how miniscule–feels burdensome, so, we don’t care or it can wait.
Outsiders look at the widda who is loathe to arise from a seated or lying position, and they can’t understand why we are so tired when we appear to be doing nothing but staring into a void.
Firstly, your brain is so over sensitized–make that, traumatized, from all you have witnessed and endured, you’re basically in a protective, shut-off mode. You are processing internally the memories, flashbacks, emotions, and the “what-if scenarios” that encircle your head endlessly. Life’s just spun off its axis, so that’s a lot to cope with.
Secondly, being widowed can often wreak havoc on your sleeping patterns. Most wids I know report either over sleeping, intermittent sleep, or insomnia. The anxiety almost inherent in widowhood can seriously impede your body’s ability to relax enough to obtain restful sleep. Likewise, the oft accompanying depression can make you feel constantly groggy to the point of sleeping most days away. Either way, you aren’t going to be energetic and alert, as a result.
Grief saps energy. Your body may appear to be lazing about, but your head and heart are in turmoil, and you’re struggling to retain any semblance of sanity.
I’m a year out from losing my hubby, and I can tell you that I still haven’t regained my stride. An afternoon of errand running leaves me winded, and while I used to go to the gym five times a week, I don’t think I’ve been five times total this past year.
It’s okay. Don’t be goaded into doing more than you can bear. Handle yourself gently, and with kindness. Whatever calms you or lightens you, even marginally, do it. For me, it’s reading or watching reality TV gutter trash. Anything that doesn’t overload my circuitry.
Give yourself time and space, widda friends.
Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest–Matthew 11:28